Raaaahhhh!!!! First stress!

dslfkdsjfkldsfj;dsledlke’uwfje;klfj’ewifnaj’lew
When asked how I am, that usually what I want to reply….but it’s more difficult in person:-D
My panic attacks went to an all time high, to the point where I was prescribed Ativan to numb the fear when I felt it coming on. I’ve only taken one so far (I try to avoid drugs unless VERY necessary!), and I believe it prevented me from passing out. Actually, I split it with Bryan and made him take his first, so I knew what to expect. It worked in about 5 seconds under the tongue….allowed me to breathe, and all was well.
For a couple of weeks, I’ve been working on the ‘mind over matter’ therapy, and so far have been successful. I was totally cured with the exception of slight anxiety here and there. For two weeks anyway. The next panic attack happened as we went to look at more RVs (just for comparison….and for my parents....yeah they are interested in the Escalade too, the copycats!), and I was actually in one when it happened. Now we know what is causing this!
I never thought I was nervous about the whole thing. When I consciously think about it, I’m happy and excited….just rearing to go. I guess this is a subconscious fear which is triggering these attacks. Who would have thunk it?
It makes sense when I think about it though. My entire life I’ve been so materialistic, and so safe from change, and now suddenly life is changing so fast. It’s refreshing and much needed....it feels RIGHT, but I guess my mind is slow in accepting that things can VERY WELL get turned upside down in no time at all.

Order of events: (THE NEW PLAN!)
-We want the Escalade and we’re going to somehow get it! -Figure out the last of the financing (who we’re going with). Basically us juggling things. -Buy a truck to pull it with. (A big 3500 diesel dually!) -Get my damn license back;-) -move lots of stuff to storage. -sell lots of stuff:-( -Notify landlord….*cries* -take cat out and get him used to being out of the condo, then take him to the vet to get his papers done! -Start moving into RV mid June -Take off by July 1st….!!!! (Bye bye home base!)

That’s right, no more condo. Forget subletting....it’s just another worry while we are away. Sometimes you just have to let things go completely to truly be FREE.
From there, we’re going up North to all the places I used to boat as a child….and then we’re heading to Montreal with friends at the end of August. By September, we’ll be heading out to PEI to spend a month or so there with Bryans family before booting it down to the warmth of Florida:-D
NO MORE #$#$@%$#%# WINTERS!!!! EVER! Hooray!
After 5 months of staying in Florida and the Keys, we’ll be heading back up to Ontario around my birthday. From there, we’re taking off west with my parents (in the same type of RV likely….haha) to see the rest of Canada. Thinking we’ll be writing about our adventures….my mom does the ‘older persons view’ while Bryan writes about our travels in a ‘younger persons view’. May be publishing this, who knows….but I’ll be doing the pictures! :-) From there, by the time winter rolls around again, we’ll be heading down the west coast to all the way to Cali and across….and then anywhere from there! (Back to Florida hopefully:-)
Such a change of life….I hope I can keep my sanity until then. That’s it with the updates….we’ll be hearing about the financing soon….
*rips hair out in anxiety*

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Cats Journal

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